Be My Valentine By Tom Howell If it helps this year, pretend that any mention of the word "valentine" refers to one of its rare or obsolete senses. For instance, sense 4b in the Oxford English Dictionary: "A sealed letter from the Crown to landholders for the apprehension of persons offending against the law." When you're asked, "So, did you get any valentines this year?" you can say, "Of course not." You're not a landholder; the idea is ridiculous. Or protect your heart with sense 5: "A British type of heavy tank, much used during the war of 1939-45." (That would be World War II, I suppose.) If you say to someone, "Be my valentine!" and they reply, "Sorry," you can parry with, "No, no, I mean the tank." And walk away with the sweet taste of avoided defeat. You see? Things are not so bad. Tom Howell ain't scared of nothin'.

TODAY Current Article

TO THOSE BEFORE, AFTER, AND SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN Miguel C. Strother THE POEM YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR Nick Thran PROGRESS Forget Magazine BE MY VALENTINE Tom Howell NATION OF JUDGES Matt O'Grady THE DAY AFTER Craig Battle THIRTY SECOND SPOT Matthew Dorrell A FEW NOTES ON GEOGRAPHY AND DROWNING Kent Bruyneel

DRIP DRY TO FREDERICTON Tammy Armstrong TRAIN OF THOUGHT Ian O'Neill THE CANADIAN FOOTBALL LEAGUE Doug Brown 1000 ACCORDIONS BAND Ernest Ogren BIRDLAND Tammy Armstrong

BLIZZARD Lorna Crozier RAPT IN AFGHANISTAN Godfrey Van de Leur HOME ICE Elizabeth Ferguson SNOW Elijah Schwinn

ENTER Forget Magazine PIGEON Rhonda Waterfall GORLILLA MUNCH Rich Cole EAST VANCOUVER: SUMMER Ian Benjamin Green PREHISTORIC TOAST Nathaniel G. Moore

   

Contact MAIL: No Fixed Address PHONE: (604) 319-4407 EMAIL: words@forgetmagazine.com ISSN: 1710 193X