orange is the new black
Submission Guidelines

1.
Submissions accepted: poetry, fiction, reporting and essays. Writing of any type other than haiku will be considered for publication with the following caveats:

     ii. Strictness of the submission guidelines: not very (strict that is).
     iii. Editor’s willingness to read anything: 8 on a scale of ten, where ten is high and zero is low.
     iv. Footnotes: there will be no footnotes.

And the following relevant information.

Henceforth in this document we shall refer to all written submissions as "those."

     a) Those that pertain to Canadian Culture--specifically not related to technology and business--and are mostly not time sensitive, will be considered first.
     b) Those that pertain to the interaction, in Canada, between people will be considered the highest rate of priority (before first, if that is possible).
     c) Those essays set in rural areas of the country will not be favoured over those set in urban settings for publication. However we like stories set in rural areas, especially rural Prince Edward Island and rural Saskatchewan, so we will read them first, if that means anything.

.1) It does because when we receive something we will not wait for all other submissions to decide if it is worthy of publication, to see if it “stacks up” or something as ridiculously reductionist as that. We will look at it and try to decide if it is good, and which day of the week (weekday) it most logically should be published, and then we will wait for that day to publish it. If that day is, say Tuesday, and we are reading the article on a Tuesday and it is before five, and we like it, we will publish it immediately, maybe without even telling anyone. As a surprise.


d) Length of submissions: submissions should be no more than 10,000 words in length and should be no less that one word. Unless you can figure out some way for us to either publish no words, as an essay, or for the editor to be able to read faster than his present speed without him having to attend any speed reading courses (which he took in grade nine and didn't learn a thing except that it is easier to read something that you like). If you submit, say, 100,000 words, that would be a lot and we will only be able to read about the first 10,000 if it is bad--even if it is not bad. If the first ten thousand are good, we will publish it without having read the next 90,000 and this could prove embarrassing if we had writers who wrote the same word 90,000 times after the first ten thousand (unless, of course, there was a compelling reason to do so).

2.

I) How to submit work for the Internet Publication, ForgetMagazine.com: send to words@forgetmagazine.com (there is no hyperlink on the email, by the way, because it is very cold in here).

II) Response time and house policy: in most cases a response will be given within 24 hours (NOT ANYMORE GIVE US A LONG LONG TIME. IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD BACK IN, SAY, 6 MONTHS, ASSUME A NO. WE WISH WE COULD PROMISE MORE PROMPT SERVICE BUT WE ARE UNDERMANNED; AND WE HAVE NO ROBOTS, AT PRESENT). Other notifications and biased descriptions will appear as deemed necessary.

III) Submissions for the print publication ForgetMagazine.com: there is no print publication of Forget Magazine yet. But soon.


3.
No screenplay will be considered unless it is a screen play involving the life of a famous dead literary figure haunting another dead literary figure in the halls of All-Saints Roman Catholic Church about a mile and a half from Como Lake, in Coquitlam, British Columbia. Or about a child from East Winnipeg who grows up to be a nut-cutter for one of (if not all) the five crime families in New York before the whole John Gotti debacle. Other screenplays will be read on the off chance there is something decent worth stealing from them.

4.
The writing of letters to, and critiques of the editor, the designer, a Canadian historical figure, a semi-obtrusive signage, something at its nature or a normal household item shall also be considered for publication.

5.
The telling of the truth is strongly encouraged.

6.
Essays on the history of political dissent in Canada will be considered above stories about great hockey fights (though both will be considered).

7.
Fiction shall be considered as long as the protagonist is a Canadian and does, in the end, get crushed by a large, seemingly immovable object. Like a ski hill. Or if there is another, similarly plausible, ending.

8.
Essays exploring the connection between articles, people, products in grocery store line-ups, and criticisms of same, will be regarded as "reviews". No other reviews will be accepted unless they are for a product no longer available, or of an action one must take alone, or of something you really hate.

9.
No songs will be accepted unless they are written in such a way as to convey one of the earliest chapters of Canadian life in the west. Or are by Gene MacLellan.

10.
No classified ads, or ads of any kind, unless they are for a business in the new territory of Nunavut or for something we can not consume, will be accepted. And no space-cats.

11.
Archiving/Re-Printing of articles: articles will be archived online permanently and should you wish to reprint them you may not. Unless, of course, you are the writer of said article, in which case you may re-publish them, re-sell them (ironic seeing as we are not buying them) or make wallpaper out of them. All we ask is that you wait one month after ForgetMagazine.com publishes your work before you reprint it. However, in continuation of Point 1.ii (InRe: strictness of submission guidelines) if some major publication should ask to publish a piece of work that appeared in ForgetMagazine.com, say, 17 days ago, will we ask you to wait the extra 13 days (or 11 if this hypothetical scenario should transpire in February)? We will not.

12.
Payment for articles in the electronic edition of ForgetMagazine.com: there will be no payment.

Explanation for the lack of payment from ForgetMagazine.com: the blood from a stone metaphor, but we assure you that when we have we will share (now I know this settles nothing for you percentage of future advertising revenue types but, really, all those trumped up promises would be, well...just that, trumped up, so we will make no such promises except to say that at current this project has no possible, or even hopeful revenue streams and we can live with that, and are hoping that you can too. At least for the time being).

13.
Acceptance of artwork: yes.

Necessity of submitting artwork: no.

Editor’s interest in looking at unsolicited artwork on a scale of zero to ten where ten is low and zero is high: 1.

Acceptance of the word “artwork” in a modern dictionary: suspect.

14.
What we are really after: what we are really after in this publication is the publishing of material that is ignored in the mainstream press and the even the independent news. Anything that has reason and passion. And more stuff that is Canadian than not. Now you may ask yourselves, do we need another ironist journal when the world itself would seem to be built on a murky foundation of irony? What is an ironist journal anyway? Is it a journal for ironworkers, ironies, or for iron itself? Ask Tom Frank. We have no fucking idea. Does a Magazine called Forget have any chance of being remembered?

15.
You. Tell. Me.



Free Safety
Mike Lecky

Senior Editor
Miguel C. Strother

Combination GUARD
Nick Thran

Outside Hitter
Matt Rader

Editor-At-law
Darren Stewart

Editor-In-Hamilton
Matthew Dorrell

Editor-at-large
Shyla Seller

Capo Di Tutti Capi
Kent Bruyneel

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