Forget Magazine. Remember, remember, remember.

INT. DAY. MALL PET STORE. JACK, businessman, and RANDY, former Water Quality Technician, stand over a dog cage.

RANDY
Jack, I think this is the one.

JACK
This is not the one.

RANDY
This is the one.

JACK
It's not.

RANDY
It is.

JACK
It's not.

RANDY
Okay.

CLERK approaches.

CLERK
Fellas, this is the dog for you.

RANDY
I knew it!

JACK (to CLERK)
What makes you so sure?

RANDY
Jack?

CLERK
Call it pet-clerk's intuition.

RANDY
Jack, I'm going to check out the lizards.

RANDY exits.

JACK (to CLERK)
You were saying.

CLERK
This is man's best friend right here.

JACK
That's great. Is he a killer?

CLERK
What?

JACK
Is he vicious? Can I sick him on my enemies?

CLERK
Enemies? No, I don't think so.

JACK
Then we're done here. Randy!

CLERK
Okay, but I think you're making a big mistake.

RANDY enters.

JACK
You think so.

CLERK
He's sweet. He's a good companion. I take the little guy home nights 'cause I can't stand to see him stay here. He never barks.

JACK
Fuck you!

CLERK
Sir?

JACK
I bet he barks. I bet he pisses on the rug.

CLERK
Swear to God. Can't make him bark.

JACK kicks DOG's cage. DOG barks.

RANDY (whispering)
He barked, Jack.

CLERK
So he barks. I like that in a dog.

Pause.

JACK
So do I.

END