Forget Magazine. Remember, Remember, Remember.

by Craig Battle

EXT. DAY. SEA WORLD. JACK, businessman, and RANDY, Water Quality Technician, stand beside a Killer Whale tank.

JACK
Hey.

RANDY
Hi.

JACK
So. Let's say I wanted to buy a shark.

RANDY
What?

JACK
A big one.

RANDY
A big one.

JACK
Hypothetically.

RANDY
Why would you want a -

JACK
Maybe I'm a villain, let's say. I need a shark for torture purposes.

RANDY
Torture purposes.

JACK
It might help if you stopped repeating everything I say.

RANDY (looking at shoes)
Yes.

JACK
Thanks.

RANDY (looking at tank)
Sure.

JACK
Now we're getting somewhere.

RANDY (turning away)
Excellent. Nice chatting with you.

JACK
I need to get my hands on a shark, here. How do I -

RANDY
Well, you probably wouldn't want to -

JACK
Not literally. I don't actually want to handle the fucking thing.

RANDY
Good. That's good.

JACK (pointing at tank)
What about this one? What's it go for?

RANDY
You can't buy -

JACK
Can too. How much you want for it?

RANDY
It's not a -

JACK
Ballpark.

RANDY
It's a fucking killer whale. What could you want with a -

JACK
Torture purposes.

RANDY
Torture purposes.

JACK
Hypothetically.

RANDY
Hypothetically.

JACK
I thought we talked about this.

RANDY
Sorry.

JACK
S'okay.

RANDY
It's, uh, not for sale.

JACK
You let me tell you what's for sale.

THE END

Craig Battle is our favourite bastard son. The big one.