A caveman upends his teacup and waits for the psychic to read his leaves. She says, "You are halfway to the money. Does that make any sense?" The caveman nods. She says, "You have a sister." The caveman says, "I have a brother." "You have a brother," the psychic continues. "He is the dreamer and you are the realist." At this, the tiger at the caveman's side lifts her head from the table, chuffs and nods, looking up at her master. "You are a Taurus," says the psychic. The caveman shakes his head. "You are a Sag." The caveman says, "No." "When is your birthday?" the psychic asks, and the caveman answers, "When it's warm." "I knew it," says the psychic.
The Psychic and Her Stunt Double
A psychic always takes a window seat toward the back. A caveman gets on the bus and so do both his umbrella and his tiger. The tiger shakes off, spraying water everywhere, and for the first time all day the psychic is not dry. She says, "I told you it was going to rain." Her stunt double, somewhat smaller than the psychic and sitting on the aisle, says, "You were right."
The Construction Worker's Son and His Father,
The Construction Worker
The first word a construction worker's son learns is "Shotgun!" He says "Shotgun!" and is lifted into the passenger seat of a brown truck parked in the carport at his house. The phone rings, and the construction worker runs inside. "Hello?" he says. It is a psychic. She says, "You are needed outside." Meanwhile, in the carport, the construction worker's son is not wearing a seatbelt. He leans to his right, and a little more to his right, and falls out of the truck, leading the way with his head.
Craig Battle knows there's no success like failure. And that, also, failure is a kind of success after all.