Fact and Opinion
by Stephan MacLeod
FACT: Halloween is based on an ancient holiday 'All Hallows Eve'. It was the
one day of the year where dead spirits were allowed to walk the earth.
OPINION: Now it's the one day of the year where you can get free candy just
by beating up little kids.
FACT: Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any group of
mammals that exist.
OPINION: What about Batman?
FACT: The celebrations of the eve of All Saints' Day, All Saints' Day, and
All Souls' Day were all called Hallowmas in the 800s when the celebrations
were designated by Pope Boniface IV.
OPINION: Hallowmas is a bad name because it ignores the most important
aspect of Halloween: the rock group Ween.
FACT: The Catholic Church's All Saint's Day (Nov. 1) was added to the list
of holy days in an effort to draw attention away from the witches' New Year,
Samhain (pronounced 'Sow-en'), otherwise known as Halloween..
OPINION:The Church created another holy day to compete with Groundhog Day
by claiming that Jesus ate an entire groundhog on February 2nd.
FACT: Bats fingers are actually parts of its wings and their "fingers" are
bigger then their body.
OPINION: That must make picking stuff up very difficult. Although I wouldn't
mind a pair of gloves that was bigger than my body.
FACT: The first LIVE-ACTION (i.e., not counting Fred & Wilma Flintstone, who
were the true first) TV couple to share a bed were Darrin & Samantha Stevens
from 'Bewitched'. Producers felt they could get away with it because
Samantha wasn't human, she was a witch.
OPINION: It was okay because everyone knew that witches and cavewomen were
FACT: Bats are not blind. They are also not rodents.
OPINION: Well that ruins two of my favourite sayings: "Blind as a bat." and
"Hey look, that fucking bat is a rodent."
FACT: None of the witches put to death in the Salem Witch trials were burned
at the stake. They were all hanged but one, Giles Cory, who was pressed to
death. In fact, there are no official written reports of any witches in the
US being burned; burning was a European practice associated with the
Catholics. The people in the New World were so opposed to Catholic
procedures that they even rebuked their procedures for the punishment of
witchcraft as well.
OPINION: When you're pressed to death is that like when a bunch of people
poke you for a couple hours? Or does it involve some type of iron?
FACT: Dal Maxvill of the 1968 Cards had the most official at-bats (22)
without collecting a single hit in the World Series.
OPINION: Didn't this guy ever hear of bunting?? Happy Halloween.
Stephan MacLeod loves the slow jams, don't kid your self.