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An Invitation
from Brad Edgington
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Close friends, irritants, Greek Americans, uncle, and sister:

I have finally seen the dark of night. I gave Tiff a ring and she gave me a kiss. She is wearing the ring, signifying her acceptance. Not only do I want to inform you of this transaction, but also I want to invite you to the wedding in December.

We will wed in one of the following three locations: Cuba, Mexico, or Hawaii (though we could pay tribute to Dave Eggers's Will and Hand, and touch down in all three locations). You will need to read some anti-cretin literature prior to the event, otherwise simply bring your bodies, souls, and healthy livers. I will inform you of the specific date and location as soon as possible.

I realize that some of you will not be able to pry yourselves from the absurdity of day to day survival at this time of year (Christmas), to travel great lengths to see a rodent get married for a second time. Nevertheless, though it may have a maudlin ring and evoke images of Abraham and his posterity, you are the chosen people, you are the people that I would love to have present. Details to follow.

Brad Edgington is a long time irritant.