Country Song To Sing To Girls At Parties by Kevin Armstrong   (adagio alla waltz) Dear Winnie I love you And I'm keeping your shoes. I fondle their high heels As I'm writing the blues. Eight weeks since you left me, Tell me where have they gone? And where can I buy a new Black leather thong? (accelerando prestissimo punk 4/4) Seems like only yesterday We were riding unicycles In the park. Sifting through our tickle-trunk, Shouting out loud in the dark. I'd always felt a bit deprived, But you made my trailer-park world Come alive. Pogo-sticks and nipple-clips, You blew my mind and more. Opened all my doors. Showed me what a bore I'd been before. But then like a thief You slipped back 'to the Personals And now I cannot find relief. Whores don't want to cuddle me, Lack your subtlety and wit, Your Ceasar dressing from a kit That had me crying out for more. Sometime long before, I'd forgot the world was more Than alcohol and shuffleboard. You cuffed me to the bed And beat the poison from my head. Now every hour or two, I want to become someone else. Maybe dead, Maybe you. For now I'm staying drunk instead. (ritenuto con waltz) Dear Winnie, my savior, My warden, my life. Forgive me for asking If you'd be my wife. I yearn for you nightly. Dress like you too. Hope you dream of me dressing And dreaming of you.

Kevin Armstrong is allergic to horse-lovers.

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